Last updated: 13 July 2026
What the "Big Dick Energy Anal Desensitiser" Search Is Actually About
People who type that phrase into Google are usually not looking for a product with that exact name on the label. They are looking for a way to make anal penetration hurt less, generally because size is the sticking point - a partner, a toy, or something from the anal category that looked ambitious at the time.
Here is the honest answer, up front, before the product talk. Clinicians generally advise against using numbing agents for anal play, and we think that advice is right. Pain during anal penetration is not an inconvenience to be switched off. It is the warning system that stops you tearing. Anaesthetise it and you can keep pushing past the point where the tissue is failing, without knowing you are doing it. Fissures, bleeding and infection are what that looks like afterwards.
This post covers what these products actually do, why the numbing approach is discouraged, what works instead, and what to check if you decide to use one anyway.
What an Anal Desensitiser Actually Does
An anal desensitiser is a topical product - usually a gel or cream - containing a mild local anaesthetic. The most common active ingredients are lidocaine and benzocaine. Applied to the anal opening and surrounding tissue, they temporarily reduce nerve sensitivity in the area, which dulls the sharp or burning sensation that can come with penetration.
That is the whole mechanism. It does not relax the sphincter. It does not make the tissue stretchier, thicker or more elastic. It does not reduce friction. It changes nothing about what your body can physically accommodate. It only changes how much of the accommodation you can feel.
Why That Is a Problem, Not a Feature
The anal sphincter and the tissue around it respond to pressure and stretch, and they tell you about it. Burning, stinging and sharp pain are the signals that something is being forced beyond what it can currently do. That feedback is the reason most people stop before they injure themselves.
Numb the area and the signal goes quiet while the mechanical damage continues on schedule. Anal fissures - small tears in the lining of the anal canal - are the usual result, and they are painful for days or weeks, can bleed, and can become infected. They also make future anal play harder, not easier, which is the exact opposite of what the person buying the product wanted.
Why the Anal Area Needs a Different Approach
Unlike the vagina, the anus does not self-lubricate. The tissue is more delicate and less naturally elastic, and the sphincter is a muscle that has spent your entire life learning to stay shut. Friction and tearing are the real risks, and neither one is solved by an anaesthetic. They are solved by lubricant, time and patience.
If you are new to this, the Beginners Anal collection is a more sensible starting point than the desensitiser aisle. Sizing and pace do the work that numbing cannot.
What Actually Works Instead
This is the part that people skip because it is slower and less exciting than a gel that promises to fix things in five minutes. It is also the part that works.
- Warm up properly. Arousal and relaxation change how the sphincter behaves. Rushing in cold is the single most common reason anal play hurts. Give it real time, and start with a finger or something small before anything larger goes near you.
- Use far more lubricant than you think you need. Then use more. Friction is the mechanism that tears tissue, and lubricant is the thing that prevents it. Reapply during, not just at the start - the anus will absorb and displace it as you go. A generous amount of anal lube does more for comfort than any anaesthetic.
- Progress in size gradually, over weeks. Not over one evening. Working up through a trainer set or graduated plugs lets the tissue and the muscle adapt at a pace they can actually manage. Size becomes accessible through repetition and time, not through chemistry.
- Stop when it hurts. Pain means stop, not push. There is no version of anal play where working through sharp pain is the correct call.
- Keep talking. If a partner is involved, ongoing feedback is the safety mechanism. Anyone who cannot tell you clearly how it feels, at any moment, should not be having anything inserted.
If You Are Going to Use One Anyway - Read This First
We stock these products, and we are not going to pretend otherwise. Adults get to make their own decisions. But if you buy one, buy it with your eyes open, and treat the following as non-negotiable rather than as fine print.
- Patch test first. Allergic and irritant reactions to topical anaesthetics are not rare. Put a small amount on the inside of your forearm and leave it for 24 hours before it goes anywhere near mucous membranes.
- Take benzocaine seriously. Benzocaine has been flagged by the US Food and Drug Administration over methaemoglobinaemia, a rare but potentially fatal blood disorder that reduces the amount of oxygen your blood can carry. Signs include grey or blue-tinged skin and lips, headache, shortness of breath, light-headedness and a racing heart. If that happens, it is an emergency - call 000.
- Never use it on broken skin, fissures or haemorrhoids. Damaged tissue absorbs more of the active ingredient, and you are anaesthetising an area that is already injured and telling you so.
- Never use one on a partner to get past a hard limit. Numbing someone so they will accept something they have said no to, or something they cannot feel well enough to refuse, is not a technique. The same applies to anyone who is intoxicated, asleep, or otherwise not in a position to give you continuous, sober feedback.
- Less is not "safe", it is just less. A small amount reduces the risk. It does not remove it.
- Stop and seek care for bleeding. Bleeding after anal play is not normal and should not be waited out. Bleeding, ongoing pain, discharge or fever all warrant a GP appointment. If pain is severe or bleeding is heavy, get seen the same day.
The Products People Buy in This Category
For completeness, here is what is in the Desensitising and Delaying category and what actually distinguishes the options. The differences are mostly format and volume. None of them changes the underlying issue described above, and a larger tub is not a better outcome.
Ona Zee's Rear Entry
Ona Zee's Rear Entry - Desensitising Anal Lubricant - 96 g Bottle is a small format. If you are set on trying the category, a small bottle is the more sensible way to do it, because it does not encourage you to use more than you need. Check the ingredient list on the label for the active anaesthetic and its concentration.
CleanStream Relax
The CleanStream Relax Anal Lubricant - Desensitising Lubricant - 518 ml (17.5 oz) Pump Bottle is a large pump format aimed at regular users. Pump bottles make it easy to dispense more than you intended, which is worth being conscious of with an anaesthetic product.
Passion Anal Desensitising Lubricant
The Passion Anal Desensitising Lubricant - 250 ml sits in the middle for volume. As with all of these, read the label for the active ingredient and follow the manufacturer's directions rather than ours.
Pharmquests Fist-It Anal Relaxer
The Pharmquests Fist-It Anal Relaxer - Water Based Relaxing Lubricant - 1000 ml Tub is a bulk format. We are not going to tell you it makes anything possible that was not possible before. If toy or condom compatibility matters to you, check the label or the manufacturer's own information - do not assume a product is safe with silicone toys or latex condoms unless it says so.
Big Dick Energy Anal Desensitiser Searches - What Buyers Are Really After
The phrase carries a clear implication: the person searching is dealing with size, or planning to, and hopes a numbing gel will bridge the gap. It will not. A desensitiser does not increase what your body can take. It only removes your ability to tell that you have exceeded it.
What actually makes larger sizes workable is unglamorous: consistent practice, a lot of lubricant, and progression through sizes over weeks or months. A trainer set such as the ANAL ROCKETS TRAINER SET exists for exactly this - start well below your target and move up only when the current size is genuinely comfortable, with no pain and no bleeding afterwards. Plateau for a while at any stage. That is normal.
If a size hurts, the answer is a smaller size, not a stronger anaesthetic.
Beyond the Desensitiser - Lubricant Does the Real Work
Worth saying clearly: lubricant and desensitiser are not two versions of the same product. Lubricant reduces friction, which is the thing that actually causes tearing. A desensitiser reduces sensation, which is the thing that actually warns you about tearing. One addresses the injury. The other addresses the alarm.
The Lubricants and Lotions section has a wide range of water-based options. If you want to try a few textures before settling on one, the Wicked ANAL ADVENTURE KIT - Mixed Jelle Anal Lubricants 30 ml Bottles - 4 Pack is a reasonable way to do that without buying four full-size bottles. Whichever you choose, use more of it than feels necessary and reapply as you go.
If you are building toward larger toys over time, gradual progression is the whole method. The Premium Anal Toys range covers a wide spread of sizes, which makes it easier to buy for where your body actually is rather than where you would like it to be.
Putting It Together - What to Buy if You Are Starting Out
If you are new to anal play and came here for a shopping list, the honest one is short: a good anal lubricant, a small plug or trainer set, and more time than you were planning to spend. That combination is what makes anal play comfortable. It is also cheaper than the alternatives.
If you have decided you want a desensitiser regardless, use the smallest amount of the smallest bottle, patch test it, keep it well away from broken skin, and stop at the first sign of pain that gets through it. Pain that reaches you through an anaesthetic is a serious signal, not a hurdle.
For the full category in one place, the Anal Lubes collection covers regular anal lubes, hybrids and the desensitising formulas. If anal play is consistently painful, or you have had bleeding, a GP is a better first stop than any of it. Pain that keeps happening usually has a cause worth identifying.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is an anal desensitiser safe to use?
Not especially, and most clinicians advise against numbing agents for anal play. Pain during anal penetration is a warning signal - it is how you know the tissue is being stretched too far or too fast. Numbing it makes tearing, fissures and bleeding more likely, because you can keep going past the point where you would otherwise stop. There are other risks: allergic reactions to lidocaine or benzocaine, and benzocaine specifically has been flagged by the US Food and Drug Administration over methaemoglobinaemia, a rare blood disorder that reduces the oxygen your blood can carry. Do not use these products on broken skin, fissures or haemorrhoids, and never use one on a partner to push past a hard limit or on anyone who cannot give ongoing feedback. Proper warm-up, far more lubricant than you think you need, and gradual size progression over weeks do the job that numbing cannot. If anal play hurts, or you notice bleeding, see a GP rather than reaching for an anaesthetic.
What should I do instead if anal play is painful?
Slow down and change the inputs rather than the sensation. Warm up properly and start much smaller than you think you need to. Use a generous amount of lubricant and reapply during, not only at the start. Move up in size over weeks, and only when the current size is comfortable with no pain and no bleeding afterwards. Stop as soon as it hurts. If pain keeps happening, or there is bleeding, discharge or fever, see a GP - persistent pain usually has a cause worth identifying.
What is the difference between an anal desensitiser and regular anal lubricant?
Regular anal lubricant reduces friction, which is the thing that actually causes tearing. An anal desensitiser contains an active ingredient - usually lidocaine or benzocaine - that numbs the tissue and reduces the sensation you would otherwise use to judge how far to go. They are not two versions of the same product. Lubricant addresses the injury. Numbing addresses the alarm.
How long does an anal desensitiser take to work?
Most formulas take two to five minutes to take noticeable effect, and the numbing can outlast the session. That is part of the problem rather than a selling point: damage can continue after you have stopped feeling it, and only become obvious later. Waiting the right amount of time does not make a desensitiser safe.
Can I use an anal desensitiser with condoms and sex toys?
Check the label. Some formulas contain ingredients that can degrade silicone toys, and condom compatibility depends on what the product is made from - oil-based products damage latex. Manufacturers differ, so do not assume a product is toy safe or condom safe unless it says so.
